I feel guilty and disappointed for knowing what I know now.
And taking you for granted then.
There are no actions I need to take to rectify these feelings,
They just sit there.
Like huge cinder blocks on my heart.
Weighing down on memories.
I want to relive in a completely different way.
I want to show you my new happiness.
I want to show you I’ve changed.
But, how have you changed?
What will I see when I show you who I am?
I experience a fantasy in my mind.
I imagine a person that doesn’t exist.
He sucks the love from me and gives none in return.
The only difference is you are around at all hours.
Not just in the night.
And I never see you in my night dreams.
Only in my daydreams.
When I am awake.
Fantasizing about who you are now.
And what we could have been.