It was an anniversary for me last week: It was “I Survived Brain Surgery Day” (in all transparency, I can’t even remember the exact day) and this year happens to be lucky number 7.
Whenever I tell people about this story, it sounds shocking and traumatic. I can understand that. But, it’s important to me that we don’t allow ourselves to forget that there is no hierarchy of suffering in this world. Just because you haven’t had brain surgery or been the victim of a violent crime, doesn’t mean you haven’t experienced trauma in your life, which, in turn, means you always deserve to be taking care of yourself.
Trauma looks different on everyone and FEELS different inside of everyone. Let’s be honest, the winters in Chicago are FUCKING TRAUMATIC. Anytime you don’t feel like your normal self, it’s time to do something about it! Seek some outside guidance or help to kickstart your energy and awareness back into balance with a book or mindfulness practice (DM for recommendations!). Your thoughts, feelings, and trauma deserve to be validated. There is no shame in that.
As the years go by, I get triggered by lots of different things and I have ups, downs, sides-to-sides. But, I’m happy to say that this event no longer stands at the forefront of my memories; it’s in an old, dusty file cabinet in the waaaaay back.
This I also know: I’m not a victim of anything. I’ve been broken, deflated, and beat down by several challenges that have stood in the way of my path. But, I continue to stand as a restored, renewed, and replenished soul full of light, love, and learning.
Some days I cook from a vegan cookbook, some days I get McDonald’s on the way home work. Some weekends I never leave my apartment and talk to my plants, some weekends I drive hundreds of miles on a treasure hunt for a pair of shoes I saw on a random Instagram page. Other weekends I pursue my passion of modeling while MOST weekends I stay at home reading & writing while binge watching The Office (again) or Snapped (again).
ALL DAYS I AM ME and I am in love with that.